Tonight, we open with the VIP Lounge, co-hosted by the tag team champions, MVP & Matt Hardy. Their guests are their opponents du jour, Rey Mysterio and----are you ready?----Finlay, who will fight Mysterio in singles on Cyber Sunday. Anyway, it comes down more to the stips in the Mysterio-Finlay match (No-DQ, Shillelagh on a pole, or stretcher match), followed by MVP vs. Hardy in either boxing, mixed martial arts, or wrestling. Apparently, they are refusing to have the US title defended. Porter's trying to play traffic cop, to keep Mysterio & Finlay from fighting each other, but inevitably, Rey gets tired of Finlay insulting his dual heritage, and they brawl out of the ring.

Clips are shown of last week's so-called interview by JBL with Batista, and Layfield getting speared halfway back home. Back in the arena, Batista is with Anastasia, and he stands by his comments. No fear, and the ref'd better stay out of his way.

Match 1: Kane vs. Mark Henry Kane is selling a rib injury from Tuesday. The reason that there's no wrapping is because this match took place first, which made the angle a little awkward to start with. Henry won the last meeting between these two, and he immediately goes right after the ribs. However, there isn't enough time to make this match really mean anything. Kane fights through the pain and fights out of the bear hug. A whip into the ropes leads Henry right into the path of the chokeslam, and Kane picks up some much needed momentum headed into the Monster Mash Battle Royal on the next edition of ECW.

Mick Foley video package. Bet the farm there'll be one for Stone Cold, too, before this night is over. JBL has election paraphenalia all over the desk, including buttons, one of which Michael Cole is wearing under protest.

Diva Search recap. Brooke & Eve are on Smackdown for the first time, and Cole has the girls trying to convince the fans why the other shouldn't win. Silly, isn't it? My money's on Eve, because they already have a Brooke (in ECW) on the roster.

Match 2: MVP & Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio & Finlay (non-title) This is your match of the night. The real question is which of these improbable teams will implode first. At first, it seems as though Mysterio & Finlay have put their diffs aside, recognizing that there might be a tag title match in the offing with a win here. However, the advantage is with the tag team champs, who have developed a semblance of continuity over time. After a commercial comes the spot where Hardy had his head cut open trying a Splash Mountain (Razor's Edge/Crucifix) power bomb, but Rey counters out, and Matt is bleeding a gusher. He would need 35 stitches to close the wound. Realizing his partner is in deep trouble, Porter tags himself in, but Rey ends up hitting the double 619. Finlay sees the opportunity to stick it to Mysterio by hitting him with the shillelagh after Porter ducks the seated senton splash. Porter with the Playmaker to seal the deal. Winners: MVP & Matt Hardy.

JBL just goes off on Mysterio for hesitating in the heat of battle recognizing that his friend Hardy was in trouble. JBL is just refilling his enemies list in case he does go through with his comeback.

They're replaying the Undertaker-Batista vidpack. JBL will "interview", and I use that word in quotes for a reason, Undertaker after this package plays out.

Vicki Guerrero is in her office, and receives a copy of the 500th anniversary issue of WWE Magazine. Jamie Noble comes in, and here we go again. This time, Jamie is actually hitting on the GM. I seem to recall Vicki's late husband Eddie hitting on Stephanie McMahon during her administration back in the day. Vicki acts like she'll play, but instead sticks Jamie in a match vs. Batista. Jamie freaks out again. He's not the comedian that Eddie was, but he's close.

Match 3: Batista vs. Jamie Noble (non-title) Squashola! This was even worse for the former cruiserweight champion than last week's meeting with Undertaker. Spear, spinebuster, Batista Bomb. Goodnight, sweet prince! Winner: Batista.

Stone Cold vidpack. JBL continues to claim he'll be the one wearing the stripes on Sunday. Prison stripes would be more appropriate for this clown.

Match 4: John Morrison vs. Mike Mizanin vs. Big Daddy V (w/Matt Striker) Don't touch that dial, kids. This is what amounts to a #1 contender's match under other circumstances, but one of these three will challenge CM Punk for the ECW title at Cyber Sunday. Unfortunately, they did not ask Joey Styles & Tazz to step in for this match. The best chance Morrison & Miz had was to take BDV out of the picture, and they did so briefly when they avoided a charge into the ring post. However, after a springboard hot shot over the top on Morrison, Mizanin walked right into a clothesline from BDV, and the rout was on. Ghetto (Samoan) Drop to Morrison, the spinning sideslam and an elbow drop to Miz. Thanks for coming. Winner: Big Daddy V.

Raw Rebound showcases Triple H vs. Umaga, heading into Cyber Sunday. I think we know who's winning that one, but how is another question altogether.

Match 5: Jesse & Festus vs. 2 jobbers The rent-a-jobbers are not identified, and Jesse & Festus' entrance isn't shown. Squashola #2! Simple as that. Winners: Jesse & Festus.

JBL & Cole run down the bulk of the Cyber Sunday card. JBL's theme hits, and it's time for him to pretend once again to be a journalist.

JBL cuts a promo continuing his campaign to be elected special ref for the title match. Please. He even had a self-serving video promo made deriding Austin & Foley. He wasted way too much time doing what he does best, putting himself over, even going so far as to have two more rent-a-jobbers come out and distribute specially made t-shirts that he claims were designed by Ralph Lauren. He forces Cole & Justin Roberts to put on t-shirts. He tries to get people to chant his initials, but then the gong sounds, bringing Undertaker. He demands that the challenger put on a shirt, but Taker chokeslams him. Batista comes back out, and wants to throw down, but all he does is throw the belt to the canvas. Taker takes his eyes off the champ, and pays for it with a spear. Batista leaves, and Undertaker sits up. End of show.