Tonight's show starts with a recap from last week. If anything at all, they got over the point that Great Khali could conceivably kill Rey Mysterio or anyone else with his bare hands.

Match 1: Michelle McCool (w/Chuck Palumbo) vs. Victoria (w/Kenny Dykstra) For weeks, we've wondered why Dykstra & Victoria have carried around a bottle of water and a spit bucket, as if they're thinking of going into boxing instead of wrestling. Well, the water comes into play for a change. It's a pretty even match to begin with, showcasing the athletic talents of both ladies. Dykstra, however, is desperate to get a "W" on his side of the ledger. Between him & Victoria, they've only one win (hers) since coming to Smackdown in the June draft. Dykstra throws some water at Michelle, which prompts Palumbo to respond. Now we have a brawl in and out of the ring. Winner: None. Match ruled a no-contest.

Match 1b: Michelle McCool & Chuck Palumbo vs. Victoria & Kenny Dykstra Now, it's a tag team match. More of the same from the women, but a near total squash when the guys are in. Dykstra is still looking for a win. Michelle finally puts an end to it with a Chick Kick to Victoria. As JBL put it so aptly, "nighty-night". Winners: Michelle McCool & Chuck Palumbo.

Jesse & Festus Dalton are officially welcomed to Smackdown by GM Teddy Long. The bachelor party's underway. Jesse's brought some dancing girls, plus Teddy's son Antoine, Sgt. Slaughter, the Major Brothers, and special guest Butch Reed, who hasn't been on WWE-TV in nearly 20 years. Long managed him & Ron Simmons in WCW way back in the day.

Mark Henry is in the ring, dressed as a druid. He tears off the robe, and proceeds to queue up the usual dual videos for himself and Undertaker. You know the drill by now.

Diva Search 2007. As I noted Monday, the majority of this year's competition is confined to WWE.com, to avoid any calamitous drop in ratings. That said, I've a feeling that this is a last-ditch effort to keep the Search going beyond this year.

MVP & Matt Hardy are playing chess. Whod'a thunk? Anyway, Matt's got Porter in a compromising position, and the US champ feigns a sneeze to clear the board. Matt then springs a surprise. He's got MVP vs. Domino later. Porter leaves to change while Matt practices his cheers.

Match 2: Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore Cruiserweight action is up next. Noble wastes valuable time looking for cruiser champ Hornswoggle, who's probably still reveling in the news that he's a McMahon. JBL & Michael Cole talk about that during the match. Cole, in particular, seems to be digging it, but JBL reminds that Vince isn't too happy. Great match in the ring, though, complete with psychology. And when was the last time Shannon Moore won a match? During his last go-round in WWE. Noble blocks a corner charge, and Moore staggers back, then acts like he sees Hornswoggle. He points this out to Noble, then schoolboys the former cruiser champion to snap one of the longest losing streaks in WWE history. Winner: Shannon Moore.

Vicki Guerrero lures Kristal into a bachelorette party. Michelle has had time to change, and is joined by Torrie Wilson and special guests Extreme Expose and Mickie James.

MVP pleads with referee Mickey Henson to stall for time. His match with Domino is next, but he isn't going to have time to get to his dressing room and back. Can you say, "dead duck"?

Match 3: Montel Vontavious Porter (w/Matt Hardy) vs. Domino (w/Deuce & Cherry) Last week, Matt beat Deuce with a modest assist from MVP. Can the tag champs do it again? Not if Mr. 1/2-man, 1/2-amazing isn't in battle gear. Domino takes it to him early, and proceeds to tear off Porter's wifebeater t-shirt. Hardy tries to get a chant started for MVP, but the crowd would rather add "sucks" to the chant. Deuce tries to get involved, but Hardy bum-rushes him off the apron. Porter, though, doesn't appreciate the teamwork, and takes his eyes off the prize to argue with Hardy. Domino smartly rolls up Porter in a cradle and gets the fall. Winner: Domino.

Post-match, Hardy cuts a promo to plug the tag title match and again tries to start the chant with the same result.

They're replaying the footage of last week's main event from the top of the show. Redundancy. Don't you just love it?

Raw Rebound: Hornswoggle is revealed as the son of Mr. McMahon. But can a leprechaun change his stripes, considering the fan reaction?

Back to the bachelorette party. Kristal is modeling a white lingerie ensemble and is getting gifts. Typical stuff.

Great Khali & Runjin Singh are interviewed. It matters not to Khali that he has a non-title match with Batista later, to him it is but a preview of what awaits on Sunday.

Match 4: Kane vs. Finlay (Belfast Brawl) A glorified streetfight is what this is, and a spectacular one at that. Finlay got heat on Kane by working on the left arm, hand, & shoulder. He exposed a turnbuckle, but it worked for AND against him. Both men used whatever they could find. Kane went for the chokeslam, but found Finlay's trusty shillelagh in the corner, even though the Fighting Irishman had brought a 2nd shillelagh into the match. Kane kicked that one away and stepped on the chair to keep Finlay away from that. Finlay crawled out to the floor, and Kane hit him in the arm with the first shillelagh, throwing it like a javelin. Kane grabbed the steps, but Finlay intercepted with a chair to the ribs, then hit the Celtic Cross to end it. Winner: Finlay.

Kristal & Teddy meet in the hall. Teddy's been stripped down to a necktie & boxers. The two parties meet, and Big Dick Johnson makes an appearance. So does Ron Simmons, no worse for wear after what happened Monday (well, this was taped first). He puts the stamp on the proceedings, and the two groups join together to get their collective groove on.

Cole & JBL run down the Unforgiven card.

Match 5: Great Khali (w/Runjin Singh) vs. Batista (non-title) Our main event is a return match from Summerslam. If you thought that was bad, this is even worse. Typical Khali TV match at first, but when he first tried to apply the vise grip, Batista answered with a spinebuster. Batista bomb was countered into a throw into the ropes and a chop to the head. Khali applied the vise grip, but Batista made it to the ropes, hoping for a break, but the champion refused to break the hold, leaving referee Mickey Henson with no choice but to call for the bell. Other refs came out, but Singh showed no inclination to call his man off. For that, he should have his license revoked immediately. Winner: Batista via DQ.