We open with a recap of last week's main event. After
the opening music, ECW champion Chavo Guerrero is out to start
the show proper. Chavo supposedly can't swim, and had to be
fished out of the Gulf of Mexico by scuba divers last week
after ECW went off the air. He has a "sinus infection" and
a "rash", the latter of which explains why he's scratching
himself like Itchy from the old Dick Tracy comic strip. However,
Chavo also claims to be a fighting champion, and thus wants
to give CM Punk his title rematch tonight.
Enter Armando Estrada, who gives the champ thumbs down on the title match, perhaps convincing Chavo to save himself for Sunday. However, Punk will be in action against Mark Henry later in tonight's main event. Didn't Estrada learn anything from last night, when Mark was in a similar role vs. John Cena? Chavo seems pleased, however.
Match 1: Stevie Richards vs. Rory Fox Pre-match, a recap is shown of the Richards interview from last week. Fox, as a rookie, was profiled on MTV's "True Life" back in 1999, appearing in the same episode as Hall of Famer Tony Atlas and former women's & IC champion Chyna. However, Fox has not been able to completely capitalize on the 15 minutes of fame that MTV literally gave him. Tonight is no different, as Fox is squashed like a bug. Richards works him over with a series of kicks & chops, the latter of which elicit the predictable "Woooo!"'s from the crowd. A corner splash sets up a double-underhook Stevie-T (DDT), and this is over in a hurry. Winner: Stevie Richards. Mark Henry video package. No one's forgotten about Henry, especially considering he's on a losing streak of late.
Match 2: Kelly Kelly vs. Layla El (w/Lena Yada) Yet another chapter in the feud between the former members of Extreme Expose is written here tonight. Sloppy, as the moves are about as fluid as a patch of ice. Lena does exactly nothing of note. Kelly hit a cross-body off the top for 2, but immediately followed up with a Rocker-Dropper (standing Fameasser) to score another win over her ex-partner. Winner: Kelly Kelly.
Match 3: Kofi Kingston vs. Mike Knox Nice to see they remembered Knox is still on the roster. As with Layla in the last match, Knox gets in some offense vs. Kingston, but not too much. Knox's best move was a legdrop to the back that netted a 2 count, but a short while later, it was all Kingston. Thesz press in the corner. Double-legdrop. Boot to the gut sets up the "Jamaican Buzzsaw" (enziguri). Goodnight, sweet prince! Winner: Kofi Kingston. Joey & Tazz run down the No Way Out card.
Match 4: Tommy Dreamer (w/Colin Delaney) vs. John Morrison (w/Mike Mizanin) Return match from last week. The tag team champions cut a promo reintroducing themselves pre-match, which was a waste of time and hot air. Not exactly the same as last week, although Miz did butt in where he didn't belong, and when Delaney tried to capitalize on the floor after Dreamer slugged Miz, Morrison booted Delaney in the back of the head. However, Morrison should've known better than to take his eye off the prize. He went for the corkscrew neckbreaker, but Dreamer countered that into an Evenflow DDT. Ballgame! Winner: Tommy Dreamer. Tommy & Colin don't have time to celebrate, however, as Miz ambushed them, and the sore loser champions took it out on Colin yet again, ending with an inverted Snapshot, this being a neckbreaker-powerbomb combo. Mark Henry is told by a tech aide that his match is up next, but he claims there's going to be a funeral. Riiiiiight.
Match 5: CM Punk vs. Mark Henry These two have met before, under different circumstances. Just before the match begins, Chavo Guerrero comes out and instead of going to the desk, he stays at ringside to second Henry. Given that there's not much time left, this won't last long. Punk hit the running knee in the corner, but Henry threw him off before the former champ could connect with the bulldog. Punk winds up on the floor, but before he can get back in, Henry begins throttling him and locks on a choke with Punk on the apron. Henry ignores the 5 count from ref Scott Armstrong. Apparently, Henry wasn't paying attention to recent events, either. Winner: CM Punk via DQ. Post-match, Guerrero got on the apron, trying to ge Henry to finish off Punk, but the strongman was busy arguing with Armstrong. Punk took advantage, and drove Henry out with an enziguri, then threw Guerrero into the ring to serve up another dose of GTS (Go To Sleep). When Chavo came out this time, he wasn't selling the "rash" he supposedly got last week. Bad move, champ.
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