Match-by-match results and television rating of this edition of Monday Night Raw.
Show: Monday Night Raw
Date: January 9, 2012
Location: Corpus Christi, TX
Commentary: Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler
Reported By: Jacob Gilbert
TV Rating:
1. Santino Marella & Sheamus def. Wade Barrett & Jinder Mahal when Marella pinned Mahal.
2. Non-title: Daniel Bryan def. Kofi Kingston via submission.
3. Brodus Clay def. Curt Hawkins.
4. Non-title: CM Punk def. Jack Swagger.
5. Dolph Ziggler NC John Cena.
I will save my comments on the backstage skits for the Reaction Zone. Just results and analysis this time.
1. Santino Marella & Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett & Jinder Mahal.
I half-expected Ted DiBiase, who has had a recent history with Mahal, to be in this match, but they've shifted him over to a feud with Hunico, as we saw on Friday. This went by just too quick. Mahal is just gaining traction in a feud with Sheamus, but was made to look like a jobber on Raw---again. Brogue Kick sets up the Cobra. Oh, the horror. Winners: Santino Marella & Sheamus.
Marella fit in about as well here as he would in a certain Sesame Street skit.
2. Non-title: Daniel Bryan vs. Kofi Kingston.
Squash. Not a good way to treat a tag champ. Handshake to start. Kofi gets 2 with a springboard cross-body, but whiffed on Trouble in Paradise. Bryan locked on the LeBell Lock, and that was it. Winner: Daniel Bryan.
Big Show came out after. Bryan essentially apologized for Friday, and gets the colossus in a rematch this Friday. This time, it's no-DQ, no-countout. Yipe.
After weeks of delays, Brodus Clay is back, but not in a way anyone expected.
3. Brodus Clay (w/Funkettes 2.0) vs. Curt Hawkins.
Squash #2. Clay is being repackaged as the love child of Rikishi & Flash Funk, using Ernie Miller's old music. Red two-piece tearaway jumpsuit, hot dancers, funky moves. Clay is now billed as a "funkasaurus" from the "Planet Funk". WTF? I guess with Kane back, they don't need Clay as a monster heel until, oh, I don't know, the draft? Hawkins was just fodder. Running crossbody, which will no longer be the Fall of Humanity until further notice, finishes it. Winner: Brodus Clay.
4. Non-title: CM Punk vs. Jack Swagger (w/Vickie Guerrero & Dolph Ziggler).
Executive VP/Talent & acting Raw General Mismanager John Laurinaitis came out and said that if Punk won, Swagger & Guerrero were banned from ringside for the title match at the Royal Rumble, which Johnny Ace himself will officiate. Fairly even match, but with a lame finish. Swagger applied the anklelock, but Punk escaped. Punk came back and hit the Macho Man elbow off the top, but while Swagger kicked out at 2, as expected, ref Chad Patten counted three anyway. Even Punk was in shock. Winner: CM Punk.
Earlier in the night, The Miz had tried to recruit Mason Ryan, Epico, & Primo to protect him from R-Truth. Well, it should surprise no one that Miz's gigantic ego has alienated even his fellow heels, such as Epico & Primo. He pulls Ricardo Rodriguez from a conversation with the Bella Twins, still smitten with the disabled Alberto Del Rio, and had Ricardo bait Truth in the ring.
For the first time, Rodriguez spoke mostly in English, which he does most of the time in FCW. Truth came out in a forgiving mood, and had Rodriguez sing "La Cucaracha" and do a little dance, which got a face pop. However, Ricardo fumbled the mic, and Truth shut him up with Paydirt. Miz attacked, but fled when Truth turned the tables on him.
Eve Torres was to face Beth Phoenix in a non-title match, but Beth never came out. Kane's music hit, and Eve's new, prospective boyfriend, US champ Zack Ryder, came down and led Eve out of the arena.........
5. Dolph Ziggler (w/Vickie Guerrero) vs. John Cena.
Not much to this one, as the angle with Kane & Ryder continued in the parking lot, playing like a DTV horror movie, the kind SyFy plays on a regular basis. The video showed Ryder trying to replace a flat tire on his rented SUV while Eve was frantically begging him to hurry. Kane showed up and attacked Ryder. Cena left the ring to make the save. Kane wiped him out, too, after chokeslamming Ryder on a pallet in the loading dock. Kane applied his suffocating face claw, a process they call burking, and knocked Cena out for the 3rd time in 5 weeks. Ziggler, meanwhile, couldn't get back in the ring. Winner: None.
