Home / Results / Smackdown / May 4, 2012

1. Non-title: Sheamus def. Daniel Bryan-DQ due to interference from Ricardo Rodriguez & Alberto Del Rio.

2. Non-title: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth def. Hunico & Camacho when Truth pinned Camacho.

3. Brodus Clay def. Jack Swagger-countout.

4. Ryback def. Derrick Bateman.

5. Big Show & Randy Orton def. Kane & Cody Rhodes when Show pinned Rhodes.

6. Non-title: Layla El def. Natalya Niedhart.

7. Non-title: Sheamus def. Daniel Bryan.

We open with Sheamus, who borrows a line from Fit Finlay and declares that he loves to fight. He is selling his shoulder, which was damaged during his title defense at Extreme Rules vs. Daniel Bryan. Bryan is out, having challenged Sheamus to another match, and the champ accepts......

1. Non-title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan.

Bryan attacked the shoulder repeatedly, trying to wear down the champion, but Sheamus fought back, having to be on the defensive from the go. Just as Sheamus made a comeback, having sent Bryan to the floor, Ricardo Rodriguez comes off the top with a cross-body, prompting ref Scott Armstrong to call for the bell. Winner: Sheamus via DQ.

Alberto Del Rio jumps in and applies the cross-armbreaker. It takes an extra ref to get Del Rio out, but Bryan then applies the Yeslock for added pressure. So what if Bryan is now gunning for CM Punk?

2. Non-title: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth vs. Hunico & Camacho.

Former champs Primo & Epico, along with Rosa Mendes & Abraham Washington, are watching on stage. Washington is now known simply as A. W., which in this context stands for All World. In my mind, he's a poor man's cross between William "World Wide" Wesley, one of LeBron James' parasitic handlers, and ESPN gasbag Stephen A. Smith. I digress. After an impressive outing on Superstars last week, Hunico & Camacho are the first to face the new champs. Talk about jumping from the frying pan to the fire. Outside the ring, Camacho did his best work, but inside, he was a glorified jobber. Truth took the hot tag this time, and cleaned up the mess. Hunico paid for swiping at Truth's imaginary buddy, Little Jimmy, but it was Camacho who paid the final price. Yep, he was got. Winners: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth.

Bryan & Del Rio are arguing, as apparently, Bryan wasn't digging that Del Rio spoiled the match for him. No John Laurinaitis tonight, and I have to imagine the talking toolbox is on the carpet after what happened Monday. Eve Torres is acting GM, and says she will talk to the trainers and see if Sheamus is up for a instant rematch with Bryan........

3. Brodus Clay (w/the Funkadactyls) vs. Jack Swagger (w/Vickie Guerrero & Dolph Ziggler)

Return match from a recent Raw. Brodus knows what show he's on this week, and is wearing dark blue. Naomi & Cameron are now known as the Funkadactyls, and the kids who've started coming to the ring after Clay wins, are called, Funkateers. Ok, I get it. Swagger's best move was a clip, but it didn't keep Clay down for long. Ziggler tried to interfere on the floor, and ate a headbutt to the gut. Thanks for coming. Swagger got the same thing, followed by the sheplex, but as Clay called for the big splash, Swagger bailed and let himself be counted out. Winner: Brodus Clay.

Damien Sandow was supposed to be having his first match, but he cuts a promo to simply say he was wimping out. Like, the guy comes out to the Hallelujah Chorus, and dismisses his opponent, Derrick Bateman, as not being worthy of his talents? Oh, please. Sometimes, pal, ya gotta learn to walk before you can run. Bateman cuts a promo of his own, demanding a substitute opponent for the cowardly Sandow. Be careful what you wish for, Derrick. Oh, by the way, no sign of his squeeze, Kaitlyn. Hmmmmmmm........

4. Derrick Bateman vs. Ryback.

Bateman charged and got some forearm shots in, but Ryback no sold and destroyed him. Gorilla press into a cradle stunner. Sickle. Running torture rack drop. You're welcome. Winner: Ryback.

5. Kane & Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show & Randy Orton.

Best match on the show. Still photos from Extreme Rules showed how Cody regained the IC title, but in this writer's opinion, the ref blew the call. Show didn't fall, as he had his hands on the top rope. The table broke under Show's weight, as I noted on Monday. They took turns getting heat on Orton & Show, but if all Cody was interested in doing was kicks and stomps, with a dropkick thrown in for good measure, well, that doesn't speak well for another IC title reign, does it? Hmmmm, welll.....of course not! The finish was a collective of stuff. Orton hit the RKO on Kane to clear him out, but Rhodes posted Orton. Unfortunately, Cody forgot about the big guy, and paid for it by getting knocked out. Winners: Big Show & Randy Orton.

6. Non-title: Layla El vs. Natalya Niedhart.

These gals deserved more time, but there was no way they could follow the last match. Natalya hit the discus lariat for 2. Thank God the artifical farting's been stopped. That was an embarassment. Layla came back and hit the LayOut out of nowhere. Winner: Layla El.

Backstage, Aksana & Antonio Cesaro are posing for pictures under Eve's supervision. Cesaro needs to be oiled up, and who happens along to be dragooned into it but Teddy Long. Josh Mathews is right. Teddy doesn't deserve any of this, and it needs to stop.

Recap of the HHH-Lesnar angle from Monday. On the next Raw, there'll be some resolution. Maybe. Earlier, they showed the Laurinaitis-Cena-Lord Tensai angle. Too soon for Johnny to be in the ring with any of the big guns.

7. Non-title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan.

Sheamus told Matt Striker coming out of the trainer's room that he was ready to fight, despite his shoulder being bandaged. Alberto Del Rio & Ricardo Rodriguez were back out, with Del Rio on commentary. That didn't last long, as they kept panning to Rodriguez pointing things out to his boss. Bryan went back to work on the shoulder, and predictably took the bandages off. He hit a diving headbutt for 2. That was new. Sheamus came back and hit a spinning Irish Curse for 2. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker got 2. Late in the match, Bryan went back up, but dove right into the path of the Brogue Kick. Begorra! Winner: Sheamus.