Home / Results / Monday Night Raw / May 14, 2012

1. CM Punk & Santino Marella def. Daniel Bryan & Cody Rhodes when Punk pinned Rhodes.

2. Beth Phoenix def. Alicia Fox.

3. Kane def. Big Show due to interference from John Laurinaitis.

4. Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, & Brodus Clay def. Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, & The Miz when Clay pinned Miz.

5. Chris Jericho def. Randy Orton-DQ due to interference from Sheamus.

We open, before "Burn it to the Ground" plays, with Triple H & John Laurinaitis meeting backstage. Hunter's on his way to the ring, but already we can see we're getting too much of the GM for one night. Can we just end this angle already?

In the ring, Hunter addresses the Brock Lesnar situation and recaps Lesnar's rises & falls in WWE & UFC. Paul Heyman comes out with a "lawyer", who serves HHH with a lawsuit for "breach of contract". HHH's response is to grab Heyman by the face and shove him into a corner, then back off. Heyman, then, threatens a lawsuit of his own for assault. Oh, joy.

1. CM Punk & Santino Marella vs. Daniel Bryan & Cody Rhodes.

Of the four men in the ring, Bryan's the only one not wearing a belt, but that could change come Over the Limit, though I doubt that very seriously. After Bryan & Rhodes were sent to the floor, Punk did a suicide dive. Marella teased one of his own, but then stopped, claiming rope burn in his midsection. Silly. They of course got the heat on Marella, until Punk finally was tagged in. Bryan ran away. Rhodes tried to avoid the GTS, but when Marella flashed the cobra, Punk nailed his finisher anyway, staring at Bryan all the while. Winners: CM Punk & Santino Marella.

2. Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox.

Alicia was already in the ring coming out of commercial. You know what that means. El squashola. No JTG to help her, either. Brief offense, but otherwise all Beth, all night. One Glam Slam later, with Layla watching from the stage, and it's over. Winner: Beth Phoenix.

Post-match, Beth attempted a second Glam Slam, but Layla made the save, and sent Phoenix scurrying with a spinning faceplant.

3. Big Show vs. Kane.

Normally, these two would have a gym dandy of a match, but for the 2nd time, it's tainted by interference. In March, Rhodes cost Show a match vs. Big Red, this time, it's Laurinaitis, who is demanding an apology for last week. Kane with a weaker than usual chokeslam for the sudden pin. Winner: Kane.

The after-match was excruciating. Laurinaitis was at his bullying best. He claimed not to hear Show's apology, and Show came up with a money promo. Laurinaitis said he'd reconsider, but when he got to the base of the ramp, he was ready to fire Show, who finally got on his knees and begged. The die, however, was cast. Show is "fired". Figure this will last about 6 days. Why? Tell ya later.

Too much time was spent leading up to this by rehashing what had happened last week. This reminds me of the Eric Bischoff-Dudleyz angle from 2003. It makes me sick thinking about it.

4. Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, & Brodus Clay (w/the Funkadactyls) vs. Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger (w/Vickie Guerrero), & The Miz.

Team AW is watching from a skybox. Figure they've got the winners of the tag title match on Sunday. It was about what you'd expect from this bunch. Miz was okay against the tag champs, but with Clay? Fuhgeddaboutit!! Kofi KO'd Miz with Trouble in Paradise, setting up the Big Splash, only because Clay hit the Sheplex earlier. Winners: Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, & Brodus Clay.

Post-match, some kids joined Clay, the champs, and the girls. Oh, what fun!

5. Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho.

In commentary, Michael Cole said Jericho knows how to find a way to win. Actually, it's finding a way to avoid jobbing. Sheamus was on commentary. No sign of Alberto Del Rio, which is curious. Jericho forced a meeting of the minds between Orton & Sheamus by throwing Orton into Sheamus. Orton was later poised for an RKO, but the angry champ pulled Jericho from the ring and leveled him. Ref called for the bell, and Orton is rightfully pissed. Winner: Chris Jericho via DQ.

Eve Torres "tweeted" that Orton would face Sheamus on Friday. I think I know how that'll work out.......

Back comes Laurinaitis, but this time without David Otunga, who returned after 3 weeks off. I think David went back for more expresso. Laurinaitis cut a Vince McMahon-style promo declaring John Cena and the fans to be losers, unwilling to admit that Cena beat Brock Lesnar at Extreme Rules 2 weeks ago. Cena is out next, and in a hilarious bit, mocked Laurinaitis, even doing a quick promo and teasing being scared about following Show to the unemployment line. He reamed out Laurinaitis for the GM's plans failing for the most part. Eve then appeared, just to show she was actually there. She had a memo, which Cena snatched, tearing the sheet in two.

Turns out there will be no special referee assigned for the Cena-Laurinaitis match on Sunday, and no one is allowed at ringside, under penalty of termination. Now, that opens a door for Big Show to return and turn heel for the 40th time in his career. See what I mean about this being Bischoff-Dudleyz all over again?

However, if "Big Johnny" loses, and Jerry Lawler questioned his fortitude earlier, which got the GM's attention, he's fired. Don't bet on that happening. Bet on Cena getting screwed.