Monday's Raw was proof positive that the creative team just doesn't know how to write a complete story.
The problem lies with John Laurinaitis. The Executive VP/Talent Relations stated Monday that he will "soon" be named permanaent GM of Raw. As ESPN's Lee Corso is wont to put it, not so fast, my friend.
The wheels were put in motion for Laurinaitis to finally dust off his tights & boots and wrestle, not CM Punk, mind you, but rather Mick Foley, and in all probability, the GM's job will be on the line. That's been done before, and IIRC that is how William Regal landed the gig a few years back. Oh, it could've still been his by now were it not for an unfortunate Wellness violation that landed him on the suspended list for 30 days. In this case, Foley, who had a brief tenure as a co-GM during the Eric Bischoff era, would be a welcome relief from a colorless, charismatically challenged former wrestler who, as Punk said on Monday, is resentful of the fact that he hasn't gotten his just due during his peak years as a competitor.
It's well known, of course, and Punk could've brought this up, that Laurinaitis had to go to Japan to achieve his greatest success because he couldn't escape the shadow of his brother, Joe, aka Road Warrior Animal, who, oh by the way, went into the WWE Hall of Fame last year. According to a recent magazine article, there is supposedly some heat between the two brothers because John fired Joe a few years back after being promoted to his current position. Jealous much, John? Well, of course. That may explain why John doesn't bother watching his nephew, James, of the St. Louis Rams, play on TV. I digress.
That's only half the story, however.
There is also the mess regarding the US title, and Laurinaitis' backhanded handling of the "medical condition" of Zack Ryder. Jack Swagger beat Ryder for the title on Monday in a match that rightfully shouldn't have been allowed to take place. There, of course, is precedent for that, and the idiot writers on Raw needed only to refer back to Smackdown, just 2 months ago.
In November, Mark Henry was the World champ, and had just been KOd by the Big Show after a verbal confrontation. Enter Daniel Bryan and the Money in the Bank briefcase. Bryan cashed in, or so he thought. GM Teddy Long then announced that Henry was not medically cleared, and therefore, Bryan's match was voided. Of course you know the rest of that story, how Bryan finally cashed it in on Show last month at TLC.
So flash forward back to Monday. If a face GM can show concern for a heel champion's physical welfare, why can't a heel GM do the same for a face champ? Because, in the mind of Vince McMahon, heel administrators are above the rules and can bend them as they please. No, they can't, and that's where creative makes its myriad of mistakes on Raw.
Back to Foley. His problem started when Laurinaitis turned him down for a spot in the Royal Rumble. Foley answered by scamming his way into a 6-man main event after Chris Jericho bolted on Bryan & Punk. Laurinaitis reversed the result. Then again, he's been in collusion with Vickie Guerrero and her team (Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger), anyway, so this was another means of screwing Punk. Foley made Laurinaitis admit he intends to screw Punk out of the title at Royal Rumble. If you'll recall, that was the plan all the way back at Money in the Bank, but John Cena didn't want to play along, and clocked Laurinaitis himself.
Apparently, the former Johnny Ace hasn't forgotten that, which is why he's going after Ryder, a friend of Cena's & Punk's, but that may be stretching it a bit.
In the final analysis, however, the heel GM gimmick is played out, and has been for a while. Vickie Guerrero overstayed her welcome on Smackdown, and creative couldn't keep her on the sidelines for more than a week after she was "fired" nearly a year ago by Teddy Long. 10 days later, she & Ziggler were on Raw, signed by the then-anonymous Raw GM, whom we should now assume was Laurinaitis all along. They refused to reveal the mystery man's ID, but he's a convienent scapegoat.
This is what MUST happen on Raw on January 23:
Laurinaitis opens, and cuts a promo on Foley. You're expecting Foley to rebut, but no! "The Game" hits instead, and Triple H, back after a month off, is out to lower the boom on Laurinaitis. He tells John that the Board isn't happy with his conduct of late, and that:
1. Jack Swagger is stripped of the US title, since Zack Ryder was not medically cleared last week.
2. Since Ryder is still not 100%, and wouldn't be by the Rumble, the title is now vacant, with a tournament starting 1/30.
3. Laurinaitis will NOT be the guest referee for the Punk-Ziggler title match at the Rumble, because......
4. Laurinaitis is out as GM, effective immediately, and has been placed on administrative leave from the company.
Vickie comes out and campaigns for the job, but HHH turns her down, too. Remembering that she was part of the conspiracy that brought him down 3 months ago, Hunter puts her in a match. A 6-woman tag with Beth Phoenix & Natalya vs. Alicia Fox, Tamina, & Eve Torres. If Vickie's team loses, Vickie is "fired".
Mick Foley & William Regal, both of whom have served as commissioners in the past, in addition to being GM, petition for the job. They're put in a match instead. David Otunga is protesting on behalf of Laurinaitis, but HHH puts him in with Punk in a non-title match. Ziggler wants to know who the ref is going to be for the title match. HHH says to wait until the end of the show.
Punk destroys Otunga in under 3:00 with the GTS.
Vickie is "fired" for the 2nd time in a year after Tamina squashes her like a bug. Beth suddenly remembers that Vickie had something to do with her being screwed out of the Divas title in 2010, so she & Nat turn on Vickie, leaving her all alone.
Regal beats Foley with the knee trembler to become GM for the 2nd time.
HHH chooses Smackdown GM Teddy Long to officiate the WWE title match, citing Long's past experience as a referee. Michael Cole whines and complains about that, but Hunter has an answer for him. He's got a match at the Rumble. Against Booker T. If Cole loses, he's off Raw, this time for good, and will remain on Smackdown.
See, this is so easy, but you know the creative cretins won't use this blueprint. It's also too complex for their small minds to understand. You'll see what I mean on Monday.
