WWE's creative cretins have really done a tap dance on common sense in recent weeks, most recently at Hell in a Cell. I'll get to that eventually, but it's only one of a series of bad moves by the creative staff. Where to begin? That's the easy part.
1. The continued presence of Vickie Guerrero on NXT.
As NXT becomes an online-only series tonight, the same fate that befell Velocity & (Sunday Night) Heat in 2005, one imagines the myriad number of prospective pros that were passed over in favor of Vickie Guerrero, whose only qualification as a pro is as a heat parasite. Even a blind man can see where her scheduled match vs. her own rookie, Kaitlyn, will go tonight, and that will be to Kaitlyn's detriment, which is a shame, because she has come on strong in the last three weeks of NXT's run on SyFy. The only thing holding this kid back is the attention-obsessed Vickie, who is to this season of NXT what Miz was in seasons 1 & 2, if you know what I mean and I think you do. She doesn't belong here, and they'd be wise to recognize this and get rid of her. If you sub Dolph Ziggler for Vickie, it advances the triangle among them & Kait that has played out on NXT & Smackdown over the last few weeks. It's a perfect scenario, one that, unfortunately, creative won't use.
2. LayCool holding the Divas title hostage.
The past history of WWE ignoring legal technicalities in storylines speaks for itself, and this is no different. The "Freebird Rule" isn't supposed to apply to singles titles, but it does here, and, ironically, former Freebird Michael Hayes is Smackdown's head writer. Michelle McCool is married to the Undertaker, which explains in a nutshell why this one-trick-pony is even holding the title in tandem with Layla El.
Technically, Layla was the sole women's champion heading into Night of Champions, but Michelle just had to have the spotlight and show her hubby that she can bring home the bacon, too. If Creative could actually be allowed to use logic, the correct move would've been to void the result at Night of Champions and make Layla face Melina to unify the titles.
The intentional DQ on Sunday, preventing Natalya from winning the title, speaks volumes of creative incompetence, coupled with Michelle's increasing jobophobia. Of course, the very next night, she jobs to one of the Bella Twins in a tag match. Neither Brie nor Nikki Bella is in Natalya's or Melina's class as a wrestler, but this is the environment we're dealing with here.
3. Why should a GM for either brand hide behind a computer console, miles from the action?
At least, that's what they want us to believe, but of course, the laptop Michael Cole "reads" from on Mondays is linked to one in the creative office on-site. Last I checked, no one in the WWE needs to be in the witness protection program, so why a mystery GM, a gimmick that has already gone stale? Because Vince McMahon doesn't know who he can trust to put into the GM's role on Raw. Vickie Guerrero was a bust last year, and a 1-shot return in May was more of the same. She simply can't work without a net on live television on a consistent basis. End of story. Arn Anderson's one of the great promo artists of our generation, so why not let the man back into the spotlight, even in the short term? McMahon thinks this gimmick is working, but in truth, it has lost its novelty, and needs to be expunged.
4. John Cena in the Nexus?
Cena lost via screwjob at Hell in a Cell. The GM decided that Cena has to abide by the stipulation and join up with Nexus, or risk being fired. That sounds like something Vince or Eric Bischoff might pull. Bischoff, though, is a face in TNA at the moment, trying to rehabilitate his on-air image. A "real" GM would see what happened, and act accordingly. To wit:
On Raw, it would be revealed that Wade Barrett was lying about Husky Harris & Michael McGillicutty's links to Nexus. Some other face, say Mark Henry or John Morrison, in tandem with ex-Nexus member and current US champ Daniel Bryan, in all probability, would force a confession from the NXT II grads. If Teddy Long were running Raw instead of Smackdown, and was presented with this evidence, he'd order a rematch between Barrett & Cena instead of the battle royal. Barrett, though, has suddenly gotten on a power trip, when you factor in his antics on Smackdown last Friday. We don't need another power-mad heel. Besides, they want to try to string this out as long as needed, until, oh, I don't know, maybe the Royal Rumble? Unfortunately, Nexus was on life support until Sunday, and has only had its condition upgraded to questionable. Not much improvement, really.
The bottom line is that:
1) LayCool needs to lose the divas title ASAP and split, because the gimmick jumped the shark, but people are already speculating that they're stalling until Beth Phoenix can come off the DL. Yeah, that's a familiar scenario. The MVP-Matt Hardy feud over the US title a couple of years back comes to mind, as they stalled on a title change until Matt, then in the good graces of WWE, could come off the DL. If they bothered, MVP could've traded the title with someone else in the short term, which is exactly what LayCool needs to do. Preferably yesterday.
2) Triple H can't come off the DL soon enough to save Raw and the WWE from the Nexus. When you get right down to it, putting Cena in the Nexus is another stall tactic. Once Hunter's done campaigning for Linda McMahon and is cleared to get back in the ring, expect a few sledgehammer shots headed Nexus' way.
3) The GM needs to be revealed ASAP. I have a solution.
While on Smackdown, Edge quietly---unusual for him, I know---begins conducting his own investigation, picking up where his frenemy Chris Jericho left off, and shares the info with Teddy Long and a select group of Smackdown superstars, as well as Raw talents he's still close to.
Around Survivor Series, the clues begin to appear, leading to a big reveal at the end of November. Who it could be is left up to your imagination, but we know it isn't a McMahon, it isn't The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Roddy Piper, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Bischoff, or Bret Hart. It isn't or shouldn't even be Vickie Guerrero. Edge then reveals on Raw that there's only one person who'd be savvy enough to pull a stunt like this, who's been there virtually from the beginning, and has been pushed to the side.
Howard Finkel and a few of the creative schlubs are revealed to be the ones sharing the gig. How else to use so many people's catchphrases and particular nuances? Finkel was a loyal employee for so long, most recently used as an announcer on "The Dirt Sheet", but was pushed aside as a ring announcer several years ago. It makes sense. The challenge is to see if Vince has the same idea. Don't be surprised if this turns out to be right, or at least close to the truth, because,
4) Vince needs to retire. At 65, all he is doing now is recycling old storylines. That gets old, too, real fast.
