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Reaction Zone - Of Scapegoats, Senility, and Snooki

Apr 2, 2011 - 11:11:04 AM by Jacob Gilbert

Earlier this week, I posted my Wrestlemania picks on my blog at http://thelandofwhatever.blogspot.com. Here, then, is a digest version of those picks:

WWE title: John Cena over The Miz.
US title: Sheamus over Daniel Bryan.
WWE World title: Alberto Del Rio over Edge.
CM Punk over Randy Orton.
Rey Mysterio over Cody Rhodes.
Jerry Lawler over Michael Cole.
Undertaker over Triple H.
Big Show/Kane/Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov over The Coore.
John Morrison/Trish Stratus/Snooki over Dolph Ziggler & LayCool.

Analysis: No way would they bring in "Jersey Shore"'s Snooki and have her lose. That's not how Vince rolls.....Mysterio-Rhodes and Punk-Orton could go either way, and I've made my beds on those......Miz has been mishandled as champ just like Jack Swagger & Sheamus before him. He should ask those two for advice before trying something different. More on him later.....Rock will collect receipts on Miz & Cena, but the window of opportunity on Cena vs. Rock is not going to last long....How can you bet against Undertaker? Only his doctor & Michelle McCool know for sure......I think Vince has Del Rio confused with the reincarnation of Ricardo Montalban, but so far, he's avoided putting Alberto in an old Chrysler Cordoba. You know, with the rich Corinthian leather.....If Michael Cole somehow comes out of Wrestlemania not humbled, something's wrong. He needs to take a respite from broadcasting for about, say, a month before getting back to the desk. The Cole Mine will be history come Sunday, I assure you.

Speaking of Cole, he got into hot water over making some lame homophobic remarks toward fellow announcer Josh Mathews. If they are as rumored planning to suspend Miz post-PPV for interrupting the National Anthem 8 days ago at a Raw house show, then why not give Cole similar punishment for his act of insensitivity? At least Cole had the brains to apologize right away. As a former newsman, he knows enough to find the lines. Unfortunately, there's already been a scapegoat in the Miz's case. Dave "Fit" Finlay, who retired from competition last year and went back to training other performers and working as an agent-producer, took the fall for the National Anthem incident, but shouldn't have had to alone. He was the lead producer that night, but Miz has to take some punishment as well. As much as Randy Orton talks about anger management issues on air, Miz should take a sensitivity training course.

More proof that Vince McMahon has lost his mind comes with the directive at a recent corporate meeting to amend the company name to the simple acronym WWE. Too many chair shots to the head the last 20 years have made McMahon senile before his time, and it's time now to step down and let HHH & Stephanie take over the whole shebang. Common sense needs to prevail in Titan Towers at long last.

Tabloid headline today reporting that Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi was paid $32,000 to appear at Rutgers University, more than Pulitzer Prize-winning author Toni Morrison. So what? In about five years, if Snooki doesn't follow up on her claim of joining WWE full-time after "Jersey Shore" ends, she'll be lucky to make that much in a year of speaking engagements. Fads fade faster nowadays, you know?

Now, let's talk about the Hall of Fame:

Hacksaw Jim Duggan: Gotta represent for my home state of NY. Jim's from Glens Falls, and was the most famous person from that city until Jimmer Fredette came along.

Tammy "Sunny" Sytch: The Original Diva? In wrestling terms, yes. Without her, we wouldn't have Sable, the Diva Search, LayCool, Vickie Guerrero (well, maybe not Vickie), and, over in TNA, Madison Rayne.

Abdullah the Butcher: Never wrestled for the McMahons, and is better known for 50 years of carving people up with forks instead of blades. Saw him in WCW in the early 90's. Today, he owns a restaurant. Whodathunk?

Shawm Michaels: Fastest induction since Eddie Guerrero. Maybe his next move is to be company chaplain, since Ted DiBiase, Sr. didn't want the job.

Bob Armstrong: Like Abdullah, he never wrestled for the McMahons, but son Brian (Road Dogg) did, and Scott is on his 2nd tour of duty as a ref because of this.

The Road Warriors & Paul Ellering: It's only fitting that Ellering, the man behind the LOD in the glory years, even when LOD was actually a stable in Georgia with Jake Roberts & Buzz Sawyer joining Animal & Hawk, goes in with the Warriors. Watch, they'll pan the crowd for Animal's son, Rams linebacker James Lauranitis, at least twice.

Drew Carey: Now slimmer, and more of a Bill Cullen clone than when he had Cullen's buzzcut (he's let the hair grow out). Any bets on when he'll be a Raw guest star?

I'll say it now: Rock goes in next year, when Wrestlemania is in Miami. Make book on it.

Enjoy the weekend.